Sorry Everybody

i screwed up and im sorry!

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Not the Face!
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Sorry Everybody

Post by Not the Face! » Sun Jun 22, 2014 2:35 pm

So I wanted to post it here to give everyone an idea on what has been going on in my crazy life. We all know that I've gotten out of the restaurant business and am now working with fish. This job pays more then what I was making as a Kitchen Manager, but it over an hour away from where I was living. I have recently moved out to where I am working so I don't have to drive an hour, I can now walk to work in 6 minutes.

Reason this topic is titled the way it is.. I have been extremely busy with work. I was in the process of fighting to see Johnathan anytime I can. He is 6 now. On top of all of that, I found out from a friend of my now "ex" that she had been fooling around with another guy when we were together. I did the math and found out that Johnathan may not even be mine. A couple weeks ago, when I had seen Johnathan, I had cut his hair. After sending his hair sample, and my own sample. I have gotten results that Johnathan isn't even my child.

I was very depressed when I found out. I am sure other people have realized that something was different with me when I was in the servers. [] I know it isn't the best way to relieve the stress and tension that I've had about losing who I thought was my own child.

It has been very hard for me to post this and it has taken me quite a while to post it. I'm not proud of what is all going on. You guys are like a family too me. I know that I can talk to almost everybody about anything here, and that is something that I really treasure. There aren't many places to where you can find a good gaming community with actual good people.

So thank you for being here for me and allowing me to be part of the community and the .40cal family.

>.> NTF <.<
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sammy
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Re: Sorry Everybody

Post by sammy » Sun Jun 22, 2014 2:52 pm

you have no reason to apologize. we all have our ups and downs.
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MarioBros
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Re: Sorry Everybody

Post by MarioBros » Sun Jun 22, 2014 3:06 pm

I don't have words that could make you feel any better now. But rest assure that we will be here for you. Don't take the easy way in this and drown in booze, it will only take those bad feelings away for a little and it could make them worst. Remember that you've been part of Johnathan's life and a big part of it. So think about him.

Take some time off of everything, think through all of this and make up your mind.

If you need anything, send me a PM.
"Text translated via Google Translate"

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Not the Face!
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Re: Sorry Everybody

Post by Not the Face! » Sun Jun 22, 2014 3:14 pm

Thank you both for your kind words. I know I don't need to apologize, I just feel that some of my actions in server were not up to the "standard" that I like to provide. I really drank hard for about a week.. [[normally more of a social drinker or have a rum and coke when off work]] It was hard for me to post mainly because of my confidence level. Not saying that I wasn't confident enough to let everybody know when it happened. Yes sammy, I completely agree that we all have our ups and downs.. This really felt like the "lowest" I've ever been. My head was fogged and my judgement was clouded. There has been one person who has really helped me through all of this. At first she was just another gaming friend. In the past months we have become really good friends and I've been able to talk with her about things that I couldn't even talk about with my friends here in Clallam Bay. So a very big THANK YOU to LadyTools for being there for me. Letting me vent, and then cheering me back up. Mario, I know that drowning my sorrows in booze won't help.. Never really helped anybody. It sure is a lot better then getting into the hard drugs that are out here.

I still want to be a part of Johnathan's life. His mom doesn't want anything to do with me. She doesn't care that I have been a father to him. I think she was more mad that I found out then anything. I'm glad I did find out, mainly because it isn't just my future in balance, it was Johnathans as well. Ladytools says that she just wanted to use me. After a long couple weeks, I completely see where she was coming from.

Thank you all again.
>.> NTF <.<
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Knives
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Re: Sorry Everybody

Post by Knives » Sun Jun 22, 2014 3:27 pm

Hey, I know we don't know eachother so well and I have no say or right to tell you what to do but
please think about your actions before you do thing wrong in your life and will make you regret it forever. Even if you have found out that Johnathan isn't your son, think about the love you have given to him and don't blame Johnathan.... he is your son, you raised him and he thinks that you're his everything. You're his dad, you've taught him stuff and he learned from you. Are you really going to ruin the best thing that you have got? Don't input "Johnathan isn't your son" into your brain because he is your son, you took care of him, you are willing to give Johnathan anything you have, so just do this for your son and don't ruin what you have gotten with him.

Anyways good luck and don't do anything crazy.

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`MuiR
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Re: Sorry Everybody

Post by `MuiR » Sun Jun 22, 2014 5:17 pm

Life is cruel to us all my friend..Some more than others.. Most of us manage to pick ourselves up and move on though. Which you will eventually be able to do..It makes it easier when you have people you can talk to, that will listen, and that will give advice, and ultimately help you to get back up. You have that in all of us. You have me on steam, so seriously, if you are feeling down or just want to get something off your chest..Message me. If you can't get on steam or whatever, I'll even give you my cell # and you can hmu. I've been through some crazy stuff in my life already, and the thing that helped me the most every time, was knowing I had people that I could talk to when things got really low..I just wanted to make sure you know, that you have the same here!

Whether you are religious or not, I'll be praying for ya buddy.
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ScorpioN
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Re: Sorry Everybody

Post by ScorpioN » Sun Jun 22, 2014 7:23 pm

Why do bad things happen to good people? We will never understand. You, spock are a good person strong in character. Don't give Jonathan up. (Maybe get a blood test or something else to really make sure.)
Even though Jonathan may not be ur son by blood, you have stood by him since his inception in this universe and that counts more than anything. No doubt your character has influenced his, and you still stand here now through his formative years. He will grow up as a mirror of you. After all, he still carries your surname, so he is family. In perspective, many people adopt children and so know that you are not alone in your endeavors.
This must be a difficult time for Jonathan as well, and maybe when he's older, pick an appropriate time to tell him the truth before your ex does. It has to be from you or he will not believe it.

Channel all your frustration with life to remake yourself. Exercising does wonders not only for your health, but also for cultivating the positivity of your aura. Don't pick the dark path and let your life be ruined by a woman that does not deserve you and the many years of happiness and love of those who truly care. I'm sure Jonathan looks up to you greatly and you are the only father he has ever known.


Scorp

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AA27 HAWK
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Re: Sorry Everybody

Post by AA27 HAWK » Sun Jun 22, 2014 8:22 pm

I think this post should be in a more private section than here. If any senior can move this post to the 3 Star section I would really appreciate it.
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rip - "By day, he's Hawk. Mild mannered rank bait. Come darkness, he transforms in to Hawk, the dark lord of the ban (and still rank bait.)" :lol:



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Not the Face!
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Re: Sorry Everybody

Post by Not the Face! » Sun Jun 22, 2014 11:56 pm

My end goal out of all of this is to remain in his life. I know I am his father, blood or not. I've been there all through his life. Just because he isn't my blood doesn't mean that I'm not going to stop wanting to see him and be him his life. There are other matters at stake. Moving on from her, that is easy. But losing him is going to be a tough battle that I'll fight the entire way.

>.> NTF <.<
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Not the Face!
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Re: Sorry Everybody

Post by Not the Face! » Mon Jun 23, 2014 12:00 am

AA27 HAWK wrote:I think this post should be in a more private section than here. If any senior can move this post to the 3 Star section I would really appreciate it.

Thanks for your concern Hawk. It really isn't needed. I had origionally started the post in the VIP thread, but then realized that everybody may have something to say about this. Good or bad, advice or criticism. I am a big boy and words won't have any influence. Guidance overcomes all.


Thanks for your prayers Hiei

>.> NTF <.<
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